Another day for final

Good luck my dear walle,
tomorrow is your control cycle first paper.
I know you had been burning the midnight oil yesterday,
and pretty sure that you are sleeping soundly right now.
I miss you terribly,
and meanwhile feeling a bit stress up due to the tonnes of workload.
I couldn't imagine how would I feel terribly the moment I enter the exam hall..
Really hope that this can over very fast,
but yet at the same time scare that the exam day came too soon.

I miss you hubby,
have to continue with my risk theory,
well,
I can see the risk will incur in my exam as well.
Good luck ya

hugs

Thursday

Today is really a cold day,
but with the new sweater my lovely walle bought for me,
I feel warmth and safe.
I love you my walle,
and thank you for buying me a new sweater,
I do love it a lot.

I was kinda sad yesterday because my lovely husband don't want me,
perhaps I am not attractive enough to seduce you.
I guess from now on,
I don't dare to seduce you,
it somehow embarrass myself only.

Nothing special happens today,
basically we just went to morning class
and had lunch together in Union court.
We proceed to study in the chinese restaurant,
and hehe. I bought a red bean dessert, a bit too sweet of it.
About 2 pm, my class starts,
oh my I really almost fall asleep in the class.

We went back home,
really such a cold weather,
however, with the new sweater I put on,
I don't feel cold as usual.
hehe, perhaps I can feel the love my hubby projected to me.
I love you my dear walle,
and I miss you terribly.

Wednesday 5-5-10

Today is extremely cold day,
however having you along, my heart feels warm.
I have just finished bathing,
meanwhile you are still bathing as well,
I decided to write you a blog.
Nothing special happen today,
just feel kinda of stress that the assignment CTF seems tough.
Haiz,
I guess I couldnt pass my exam C,
feeling depressed and sad over this again.

Today I tried to follow hubby's footstep,
hehe. you are so naughty,
keep changing the footsteps,
till that I have no chance to follow.
While playing, we had reached hostel.
I just love your companion,
walle,
can you love me forever?

Sydney 2

These are the pictures we took in Sydney.. hubby, I love you a lot:
Haha. you know what, you are sitting right beside me while I am typing my blog. Haha.. seems really funny right??




Do you know that I enjoyed seeing your serious look. I remembered the first time I asked you chemistry question, you are so serious in your reading, and it seems totally ignored me... Haha. I guess at that time you are really concentrate in your work. Perhaps that time you are not interested in me as well. Or maybe just as you said, I was the one court you instead.






Cute puppy right? I remember one Saturday, while we passed by a pet shop in Canberra, you told me that you would buy me a dog when you first received your salary. What dog will you buy for me?










Hehe. I thought of buying you something hot to eat, but somehow it turned out to be a cold dessert. I hoped you enjoy your dorayaki. I wanted to eat the black sesame tauhufa actually. But I know that you are full and don't really want to eat with me.

Somehow I didn't managed to take picture with you in the sushi roll. Haha. Hubby really a small eater, I wish you can eat as much as possible, because one fine day, if my stomach is getting better, I wanted to eat everywhere with you, especially in Japan. The red bean paste of the mochi in the Sushi restaurant still lingering in my head. I love it a lot! haha. However it was too costly. In fact I know that because of my exam, you had been spending a lot of money. I am sorry my beloved.
We ate in the sushi shop continuous two days. I know that you were a bit sick of it, but because of me, you still brought me there for lunch. I am sorry hubby. That is why, I willing to cook you dinner, to save you more cost. After sushi, I hungered for sweet drink, and you brought me to buy soya and there, we bought the green mochi. I remembered the every single details we had in the Sydney. I really appreciate these memories we owned. I do not know how much you appreciate it, but at least I really do keep all these deep in heart.

After eating mochi, I entered for my exam. During the first question appeared in the screen. I was really shocked... I never encountered such question before. Despite I tried so hard studying for the past 2 months, it seems that I am not good enough. Do you think that I really suitable studying actuarial science? All the while I thought that I would be able to help you in your career one fine day. However, it seems that my limited capability, I don't think I could able to help you, but you lend me your hand instead. I am sorry hubby for troubling you all this while.

In the middle of the exam, I almost gave up, as the moment I saw more and more questions that I do not know how to do. Haha. My hands were shacking, and heart was pounding non-stop. I was really scare. I guess I will fail this time again. Are you disappointed? I am sorry, really very sorry.

The moment I finished my exam, I saw you sitting outside patiently, waiting for me. I was touched at that moment. I really want to give you a big hug at that moment, but with the receptionist over there, I was embarrassed to do so. At last, I put down my hand, but handed you a mint chewy sweet instead.

We were back to the hotel then. You tried to cheer me up, and make me happy, but seriously I was in great depression. I strongly believed that I would failed again this time. I really tried my very best. Perhaps I have to work much more harder only God let me to pass through all this.

What had you been doing and thinking for the past 3 and the half hour, the moment I was taking the exam? I really hope to do know your everything. However I realized that you seldom talk to me, not as often as you treat your friend, in fact more chatting with flora as well. I really love to hear what you say, happy or sad also, I wished to be there for you, everything and anything.

We walked for 2 hours. Nothing much to buy, but I enjoyed walking with you along the road, holding your hands tight. We passed through some shops, which I wished to go in actually. But I know that you seems to have some destinations want to go, hence I just followed you around. As long as I am able to be with you , I was happy enough.

I bought you the shark fin soup, hehe, which apparently you refused and doubt that was the fins were real. Haha. I just bought you because I know that you loved to eat. You had been told me that you wanted to become a rich person and everyday able to eat fins soup and abalone. I am sorry I am not affordable at this moment.

We backed to the hotel again, cooked you some noodles and had a tv show, about a man who trained to become a great kung fu fighter with some weird teacher. I know you enjoyed the movie a lot. I cooked the noodle for you, and hope you are able to enjoy the tv programme. I would do anything just for you, because I truly love you a lot.

We wanted to go for a fortune, to see our future. However it was really expensive. haha. I didn't expect such a high cost. However, eventually I pacify myself that if the person was really true, why dint she had been a great successful person, which she can used her skills and knowledge to enhance her poverty, but not just have a small corner shop lot and earn a small living. Well, I believe that if I would be able to work hard, somehow I hope that I can have a better future, and able to achieve our dream -- to go to Africa and other poor countries to help those kids who need help.

Hubby, do you know that what I love you the most? I love you because you had been pampered me all the while. Besides I know that you are a family caring person. The moment I was studying exam C, suddenly you were on the bed and told me that wishing to have a house for our parents, your family and my family ,to have a pleasure and comfortable livings. I love one of your advantages over here. You are such a caring person, even though sometime you didn's speak out, and do not know how to express it. I hope that you will do what you had say. I hope that one fine day, our parents will live comfortable, but not just us alone to enjoy all these. What we had now today, all are presented by our parents. I love you .

Have to stop here else I would not be able to finish talking to you. I love you a lot my walle.

Eva

Back from Sydney

Knowing that you would not view this website anymore,
however I would continue writing here.
Who knows that one day if I ended my life early,
I wish that you still have here,
many messages waiting for you.

Thank you hubby for accompanied me to Sydney to take my external paper.
And sorry as well that I may disappoint you once more.
I hope to upload some of our pictures,
to leave more memories here, just between both of us.



Hehe. the moment we were on the bus. Do you know that I was really excited for out first " honeymoon", though is not official. Hehe. Somehow hubby look a bit like 老夫子 in this picture. Hubby, I really love you a lot.












We bathed together here, remember? I remembered you hurt your hand, and I help you to wash your body. Next time don't ever jump to the bed. It hurts your hand, but it hurts my heart.










Fully furnished. I really hope that one day we had a small apartment as such. It is alright that we don't own a big bungalow or big house, as long as our house was fully decorated and well furnished. Because I enjoy to cook with you, the moment I have time just to stick to you.








Our lovely kitchen. We cooked the noodle you bought together over here. Haha, I recalled that the first time I used the inductor stove, haha, and I split the water everywhere. It was really embarrassing. I am sorry my lovely, after all I think I am not a good wife.









Our bed. Remember our first night. I was supposed to have exam, however you made me so tired that night. I was so so so tired. Hehe. I cried for the second night. Sorry, I know that I shouldn't do so. I know that you feel sad and no longer in mood. I was too scared of losing you.










Do you know that today I was molested by a guy? I was really sad, because you didn't turn around the moment I called you. I don't know what to do. I was terrified. I thought that you no longer love me, after the night. Hubby, I really love you a lot. I remembered last time you used to hold my hand whenever you go, however recently, you seldom to do so. I wanted to walk as fast as your footstep today, however, I was in pain. I don't know how to voice out, but to bear the pain. I really love you a lot a lot. Hubby, I do not know how long I could able to continue living, I wish my image and everything about me will stay forever in your heart. I love you dear

Friday april 30th

Dear walle,
almost 2 months you havent view this page.
I guess you have almost forgotten what we had own..
I had been here for 2 months.
I love to have your companion,
meanwhile I know that I may not suit you.
I know that there are many good girls out there waiting for you.
I am not jealous of Flora or others,
because I know that I am not good enough.
All the while, with my depression,
I know that this creates a lots of problems between us.
Do you know that I really love you alot?
I really do.

However, do you love me the same as well?
I doubt when will you view our blog again?
Perhaps the day I am no longer here,
just like my best friend, Lynn who had just passed away.
She ended her life, leaving me alone,
I wonder if I would to do the same,
would you almost think of me as well?

I love you hubby.
I will continue stay on,
but seriously I would not know how long will this last.
I remember the Saturday,where you agreed to break up with me.
It really hurts,
till today.
Every single I had been trying hard not to tell you how pain I was.
Seriously that incident really affected me a lot.
I wanted to commit suicide most of the time,
however I know that my mother will blame herself as she agreed to send me here to study.
I do not want to let her bear such consequence that everyone pointed at her,
and blame her for everything.
Perhaps I am just too stress up for my exam C.
Or perhaps I havent recover from my depression.
I wouldnt know what depression actually is,
but what I know that I wanted to cry most of the time.
No much reason of it,
just the feeling of letting go my tears.

Hubby,
actually I really looking forward for your first "honeymoon" in Sydney.
and I really love you alot.
Today is kinda of whole day couldnt see you due to your seminar.
I just miss you too much

Eva

my lovely walle

To my lovely walle, who is currently suffer in the toilet...
Oh my.. I smell something unpleasant...
Your shit really smell... something... which I don't really want to describe on.

Hehe, I just want to tell you something,
thank you hubby for loving me,
even though this morning I was kinda of sad at the moment you told me that you love the previous me.
Does this indicates that your love towards me is much more lesser by now?
I am afraid and felt lost.
I really love you a lot,
even though sometime my action doesn't show..

Oops, i can hear that you are flushing the toilet now.
I better stop here.

I love you , my smelly walle!