Feeling Gloomy

Knowing that today cuti's mother passed away, many things popped to my head. It was too sudden. I couldn't believe how fagile a person's life could be. I received sms from zx at 4.00pm, knowing that his boyfriend's mother was in the ambulance, talking to his son. His son encouraged her, kept talking to her, supported her not to sleep. She grumbled, she was in terrible pain. Even though all these I was heard from zx, however, the imagination was vivid and clear. I can feel how pain she was, I can feel how sad and how worried cuti was.

5.00pm. Another sms I received. She passed away. I really wanted to burst out in tears. Although cuti kept bullied me ever since I was in UTAR, however, at that moment, I really prayed for her. I kneel down in front of my bed, I prayed sincerely, hoping that God could listen to me. I hope that his mother could survive.But, it failed.

Suddenly I realize many things in life are unexpected. I am afraid. I just showed temper without knowing the proper reason. I am sorry my mother. I am sorry my lovely kitty. I wanted to treasure you all. I couldn't afford to lose anyone of you in my life. If can, I really hope that God takes my life in advance. I couldnt bear the feeling of losing someone I love. I love you, walle...